satan's the culprit

I have reason to believe I am the most impatient person ever. It's true. I'll confess to the world. My inconsistencies in how i think from day to day lead me down a road of impatience. Sure, it starts out just dandy but all the sudden a week goes by and i'm at my wits end asking God why. Is it really my place to know why in the first place? No. If there is one thing i do know, it's to know that we don't need to know why. Not from God anyway. Even if he told us, we probably wouldn't believe him. Not at all. You think we would have believed him if he said, "okay i'll tell you how i'm going to save the world, i'm going to have a fourteen year old give birth to a son even though she didn't have intercourse, when he's actually going to be my son...". Yeah... right. My point is, it doesn't matter why i'm going through what i'm going through, or how i'm feeling. What's important is to know that if i wake up in the morning and say, "God take away what i'm trying to control by making my own decisions and messin up what you have planned" then guess what, he'll do it. Really. Just don't try and get those problems back. If it takes wakin up every day saying the same thing, then do it. I try to. It's when i don't that I feel myself slip into the realm of impatience again.
Think of it this way: impatience= lack of trust.
Would I dare say I don't trust God enough to wait, and be patient? I do believe that is part of it. But there's more to it than that. Kinda like money... you can't just put it in the offering plate one week... there's always more money that ends up in your pocket... you you give each week. Why? Because you know for a fact that God can do something better with the money he gives you( because he does bless you with a job and money to live, don't think you got that on your own people) than you ever could. It's a fact. Face it.
Harsh?
Welcome to the world where harsh is acceptable... it's called the blog world. Where the world vents.
:)