fork in the road?

I wanna know what's going on inside my mind.
You'd think i'd have it all together but, truth is- i don't. Who'da thought.
I know deep down i'll be put in a leadership position, not the large and in charge, but in a position that will shine the lime light on my life. This may mean simply impacting a small persons life, or something of the like. I wish i could take a step into my future and see what's going on, but at the very same time, i am happy i cannot do that because of what is awaiting me. I know i'll face trials. Trials that i know i couldn't handle today beecasue i have not grown to that point where i could be as strong as if i waited until then. I've gotta be patient... i'm thinking maybe i'm not suppose to go to the caribbean. Maybe I am suppose to end up in the philippines. It's a rather scary thought. I've been invited back this coming Christmas... and what i wouldn't give to be there with my friends and family. But what about the Philippines. I don't care about the distance from the states. Then what do I care about? What am I holding back that makes me not what to go? I thought I made a vow to go where the good Lord led me. Dialect. That's what's keeping me. And am I suppose to go alone? I don't think so... I'm not made that way. Alone has never been my strong point.
God I need help.

searching peace

is unsure.
of so many things.

I need peace.

in other news people came into my home the other day and ate something that wasn't suppose to be for people to eat out of my fridge. I bought it with little money i had and now it's almost gone. I can't just go buy more... thanks for bein considerate everyone. For future notice, please stop touching things that do not belong to you, this goes for everyone.

Again, I need peace.